


Ramblings

by Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-27
Updated: 2002-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Draco and Severus discuss their alleged sex lives.





	Ramblings

"No one will believe we're lovers," Severus pointed out.

"It doesn't help that you want to keep our relationship secret for another five years." Draco was piqued. "If you don't let me tell them at the Christmas fest, I will convince the CEO of Scholastic Inc. to make a book about us."

"Please, be reasonable. Do you know how many people will be disappointed? Albus, Black, Lupin, the entire Weasley clan, Potter, the fans and even know-it-all Hermione."

"Ewwww, a girl! That's disgusting." Draco covered his ears.

"Be nice or I'll spank you," the Potions master warned him.

"But Sev, Titti is trying to write fuzzy Christmas stories. She doesn't like to write BDSM fics"

"Merlin, I must have her confused with someone else."

"Ah ah! I knew you read those fanfics on the net." Draco looked triumphantly at his lover. Then, he pouted. " In those fics, I'm always pouting or smirking."

"And the difference with real life would be...?"

"Hey at least I'm not as much of a slut as you are." Truthfully, Draco wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"I'm not a slut, I'm the Slytherin Sex God. There is a difference," Severus growled in his most seductive tone.

"Do you know that I can come four times in one hours in those fics?" Draco asked proudly.

"Bloody women! Don't they know that it's impossible?" Severus was angry. For some reason, he was always making his lovers come an incredibly high number of times, but he was never granted the same treatment.

"Maybe I could." Draco said while pouting and putting his hands on his hips. "Maybe I could come five times in one hour."

Severus snorted. "Right! Would that be before or after your father buggers you?"

"Ewwww, that's disgusting!"

"While your nasty habit of cutting yourself up is less disgusting." Severus sneered. "Of course, I lose all my respect for you when you let Potter take care of you."

"But I never did that. Where did they come up with that?" Draco whined.

"Must be that pale skin and fragile look you have," was the sarcastic reply.

"Don't be smug! At least I'm not always off shagging the werewolf and his best friend. Is there anyone you haven't buggered?"

Severus thought about it. "I'm not sure. I know I have been involved with broomsticks and mandrake roots."

"Sev!?!"

"Yes, Draco."

"Maybe we can forget about the announcement and you can show me if you can make four times just like Potter." Draco raised his eyebrow seductively.

"Oh please!" Severus rolled his eyes. "Just get naked, will you?"


End file.
